Friday, 4 May 2012
beware the shiela beside the road
So Plan B was arranged and I could’ve gone last night but didn’t and I didn’t this morning because my big boys were competing in school cross country and I didn’t want to miss it. I’m now going to blame the tractor that cut me off and an ambulance with all lights flashing stopped at an intersection that didn’t actually go anywhere for sucking up my last drops of fuel. Yes I am aware that the responsibility lies with me but it feels better to share the burden. The car of course runs out of fuel and I get out be a total girl and start crying. I had been standing in the sun as a volunteer helper at one of the track points for three hours so now I’ll blame that. Almost instantly a car pulls over and a man gets out. I’m thinking oh “Thank you!” but as he opens the door I hear a woman shouting “You’re going to regret that you know, she’s probably a serial killer or something, it’s probably a prank to rob you blind, you’re a stupid fool” (and so forth cause then I stop listening and start thinking what the???) He still continues in my direction and asks “Are you alright lady?” To which I answer “Yeah I’m just an idiot who should’ve got petrol and now I’m crying about it.” His face screws up in curiosity as he then asks “So what’s with all the blood? Is it yours?” I’m all like “Huh what are you talking about?” Completely bewildered. He gestures at my top. It is then that I realize my toddler has managed to cover me with BBQ sauce from his sausage at the schools sausage sizzle. I guess maybe it coulda been blood looking???? His woman then shouts “You better get back in this car right now Shaun or I’m leaving you here!” Straight away he heads back to the car and before he leaves I hear him say “She’s off her head.” Ok that’s different and I still have to walk to the petrol station looking apparently like I've just slaughtered a chicken.
Just now, I took something to the bin outside in the dark and that dam cat jumped out at me from under the car. I think I may need to change my pants now.