Friday, 27 April 2012
For those of you who don't know me, my nickname, amongst others is Spencer. As in Frank Spencer from that classic British comedy Some Mothers Do 'Ave Em. I haven't earnt this nickname easily. Things maybe fool proof but they aint always frankproof or in my case emmaproof and as this blog unfolds over time you too will see why this name matches me so perfectly.
Today should've been an ordinary trip to the medical imaging clinic, followed by a small amount of shopping and coming home. Naturally that is not how my day went.
My oldest boys woke up ill so I had to take my three delightful children along to my ultrasound appointment. This was my third attempt at having this appointment so I was determined to go ahead with it. I actually arrived on time to find that almost everyone else at the place was ill. Perhaps they all shared some dodgy dinner last night. My appointment was fifty minutes late. No big deal. We all squeezed into the treatment room with the student sonographer and the equipment. The two year old mostly screamed and one of the 9 year olds kept going out to get water while I lay topless and there was no curtain. Naturally some people copped an eye full. There was a mishap of gel exploding from its bottle all up my neck, down my shoulder and into my armpit. Nice. Three people had to come and have a look before I got given the all clear. If I had've been at a strip joint I coulda made some serious cash.
We went straight to Medicare to get a refund and I was overjoyed to discover there were at least 20 numbers ahead of me. My boys had already stayed relatively calm and well behaved for just over two hours at the ultrasound place and were starving at this point. Of course there is a lunch break fiesta and only one worker is left on the counter. Then there is a computer malfunction and numbers are skipped and missed. There is almost a riot. Almost an hour later we leave with refund in hand.
Everything goes relatively normal until trolley full of groceries later when I am going up the travellator to the car. At the top my trolley gets stuck, the kids bunch up into me and in my frenzy my pants start to fall down. I stand on one of the kids thongs cut my toe, slip downwards hitting my head and just before serious bunching up of strangers I manage to lift and push the trolly off. It's too late though. All the people behind are in hysterics and I have once again managed to flash in public.
My flashing for the day isn't quite done there. When I got home I was carrying the groceries inside and whilst walking inside my pants literally slipped down to my ankles - TWICE. Well my hands were full of groceries including eggs I couldn't pull them up!
Today's lesson is to not wear shorts that are too big without a belt or with the slippery kind of undies, even if you are just putting on some nice ones because you're going for an ultra sound and some people will see them. Because, just like in my case, the whole world may see them.